Asi soy...

The race of life continues even after the mission. And it even picks up speed. This is my first post back from the mission and the first one that I have made in over two years. The transition back to real life has been one that has left a lasting effect on me. I have tried to deny it but the transition has been incredibly hard. I have felt and continue to feel like an alien, like I don't belong in my own world. I find myself longing to go back to Costa Rica and to be doing the things I once did. It's an uncomfortable feeling to feel like a foreigner in your own country, state, house and hometown. The night that I was released from my full time service as a missionary was one that I will never forget. I was merely asked to speak on my mission and I was in tears. My mission really became sacred to me, something that I kept so close to my heart. I made those 2 years the most important and most special, I made them everything. To see the close of that chapter has been the hardest thing I have ever had to experience thus far. I literally felt that mantle being lifted from my shoulders. I felt the burden just a little bit lighter, and I have felt useless ever since. The time spent in missionary service is the ONLY time a person gets to devote him or herself to full 100% service on the Lord's behalf. It's the greatest time ever spent, its the most amazing investment ever made. Even though I can't take it back, it is something I long for each and every day...I know that service in the Lord's vineyard is still possible, but it never will be the same as it was while I carried his name next to my heart. As for here, everything has changed. The world is more high tech and fancy now. People are becoming more and more desensitized when it comes to sacred and special things. The world is telling everyone that it is okay to be this way, it is all right to have those habits and it is just normal to be that way. I heard once someone say "don't let anyone tell you that you have to be a certain way to get into heaven"...does that mean I dont have to have a specific GPA to get into Harvard? I don't have to have the right credentials to get my dream career? I don't think so. The Lord has set his standards. Period. No one can change that, no habit can break that, and no inborn tendency can change the fact that he is the creator of this game of life. He has set the rules and it is up to us to follow them or not receive the blessings that come to the finishers of this race. If we finish with dignity, the reward is unfathomable. I'm in between equality and being fair. It is only fair that the true followers of the rules to the race really win. But does God really choose between which of His children he loves the most? Absolutely not, one of the very few things I do know is that God is very aware of all our circumstances and aware of each of us as his beloved children, He doesn't love anyone more than the other, he loves the gay, the straight, the bi, the black, the asian, and the white all in the most exclusively divine way. But he has raised the bar, and HE expects us to reach it. I may offend many with my own opinion but that doesn't stop me from sharing it. "For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth..." (Romans 1:16) I am not ashamed to be a mormon, and I will shout it from whatever rooftop to get my point made. I won't shove my opinion down your throat, as long as you don't shove yours down mine...I am proud to be a mormon as well as a BYU Cougar...these past few weeks I've seen and heard some stuff that make my jaw drop. Some true aggie colors have come out upon finding out that I have chosen to go to BYU, wow...really? Haha, it's a school, its a place of higher secondary education where I have chosen to study, are we really gonna pull out the pitchforks and run me out of town? Haha...I am completely sure that God loves the aggie as much as he loves the cougar. I don't understand the relevance that all this has in the lives of those reading, but eyy...asi soy. Adios.