I'm ready to be amazed...

So today was a very good day... :) I absolutely love days like today.

Those moments that my heart gets to feel of the spirit are those that I cherish so much. I crave that feeling. Like a fat kid loves cake...I'm serious...I hunger over it.

So today I had the opportunity to go to the Logan Temple and perform Baptisms and Confirmations for members of my friend's family, who had passed on. It was such a spiritual experience I will never forget it...


Maddy's sister-in-law was getting these names temple-ready and when she was she said she had a feeling one of them was ready, and they were greatly appreciating the work she had done down here.

I was being baptized in proxy by Maddy's dad and he said a name that just struck me and felt like it had made a home in my stomach, I had an overwhelming feeling of joy as I was dunked under the water. It was all I could do to hold back my tears. I knew that this man was waiting for me to do his work down here. And after, when I was being confirmed by proxy I felt the spirit even stronger proving to me that there are MILLIONS of those that have passed on that NEED us to do their work...it showed me how close the veil really is, and it strengthened my testimony in family history work and temple ordinances.

What an important aspect of life, to save those who can't save themselves anymore. wow...it was so amazing. I knew Alvin Stamps was looking down on me and smiling the largest grin he could pull off...And my heart was happy, and I felt TRUE joy and peace being in God's house for a day.

I love the temples. Absolutely love them! They make me want to stay worthy at all times to enter into them and perform saving ordinances for those who are dead.

Anyway, just thought I'd share. :D

History...

Always repeats itself...

But somehow I keep preventing ways to stop it from it's constant repetition.

Am I holding on because of what we had, or am I doing it because we had something? That something which is completely absent, and has been for awhile now.

But the void is filled.

So what is keeping me from cutting the ties?

I honestly don't know. Maybe it's because we live across the street from each other. But we are worlds apart. And I mean worlds. We can barely relate to each other anymore.

What do I do when that person and I basically shared the same brain?

Yeah, so what I changed, you changed too...and for the worst...

But now you're alone and I'm supposed to feel bad? When you dumped ME in the gutter like a little sewage cat? Yeah..okay.

Okay now I'm done venting...I just don't see the point in always preventing the change that so inevitably needs to come with us. I will never understand why I do...But maybe it's time I step up and make the change myself.

Maybe for once, history won't repeat itself, and I will no longer be the smelly sewage cat.

But, I guess for now, my only option is to give into some of the repetition. I'll always live in the past, I'll forever be comfortable with hand-me-downs, I'll bang my hands on the steering wheel while listening to my music, I'll spend every waking minute with the one person who makes me feel whole, I'll constantly be engrossed by random, weird, and awkward moments, I'll still listen to church music. And I can still handle coming home alone on a saturday night, and falling asleep in an empty rental house, and I can deal with my "family" issues.

But I won't fall for the thing that tricked me so much in the past.

Simply Nothing?

It amazes me how quickly I can fill my life with unimportant things...how can I treasure something so meaningless and filled with absurdity? How can I fall under the foolishness of the world?

How can the world value the things that are going on in it right now? How can parents sit back and see their kids self-destruct? How can women disrobe so quickly and post their bodies across the world? How can fathers, sons, uncles, and family freely look at it and not feel an ounce of guilt?

I just don't get it. I don't get the world today. And frankly, all I feel is deep remorse for them. How can they live so long shut out from the truth?

People like to mock it and make fun of it, but deep down each of us long for answers. We want to know of our salvation, where we are, and why we are here.

But seeing this just burned inside of me the desire to serve my brothers and sisters here on earth. The spirit testified to me that I am destined to be a missionary and bring others to Christ, so they can know true happiness like I know.

But as for now it all stays the same until one person makes a change. The world today can eat any person alive. Better use the buddy system or your on the top of the hit list.

Simply put, nothing can survive, save it be based on the restored gospel of Jesus Christ...

Valentine's Day

Most people put waaaay too much emphasis on Valentine's Day. It's such a pathetic holiday, and a way for husband's who have been slacking the rest of the 364 days to make up for it for one day. In my opinion you should always tell that special someone what they mean to you. Don't spend it all on one day. Let them have it, all the time, let them know how much you love them.

Valentine's day has taught us that it's dumb to waste you whole year telling those you love that you love them, but it's better to spoil them rotten one day of the year. I agree with spoiling the one you love, but not in the sense that for 24-hours it will only last that long.

So don't waste your years away, waiting for Valentine's day. Tell them you love them. NOW. Don't hold it back and save it for a holiday that isn't worth it.

Sometimes..

..in life it's good to take a look at an aspect of your life and see if it needs improvement. It really is like cleaning out the cobwebs and starting anew. Today I came to a hard realization of something that is really not that hard to point out. It was the fact that people are not perfect.

My whole life I had blamed people for things, claiming that they had only let me down, and that is what I thought the only reason for the human race was. People are a lot more than flesh and bones that never cease to fail you. Yes, they will come short, and yes they made not succeed the way you want to. But you cannot expect perfection from something so prone to be imperfect.

I always wanted people to live up to my expectations, and hated them when they didn't. I realized it's a lot more pain to raise the bar entirely too high. There is no way that people could reach the expectations I had for them. But it takes a lot to step down and realize I was wrong. When someone fails me and does something I don't agree with, instead of just judging them and putting them down for their shortcomings, I must realize that they are in the same situation as me. They are filled with little imperfections, sometimes they have larger ones. But I cannot expect them to be perfect. Because my hopes will get dashed once more.

But regardless of who fails me today or who lets me down today or who happens to fall short of my still high expectations, I refuse to leave a scar on yesterday, today, or tomorrow. I don't want to leave a single day with a smudge on it. I want to be able to look back on that day and recognize a way that I have grown from something that happened. Even if someone had to mess up for me to realize it.

Anyway. Just the way I'm feelin' ya'll.

Goodnight world.